Uncle Mort on Keeping Up…

The late Will Rogers claimed that all he knew, he read in the newspapers.

My aged Uncle Mort—whose routine includes puttering down the lane to the general store most days—still is an avid reader. However, he is not one claiming to read from “kivver to kivver,” like his parents before him.

Most of his reading material is, well, “cold off the presses” by the time newspapers and magazines are left behind at the general store, where he gathers them up for later perusal. “Heck,” he said. “Lots of times, the covers have been torn off, so I couldn’t read ‘kivver to kivver’ if I wanted to!”… ***** Mort tires of the “gloom and doom” accounts that dominate many publications today. In fact, he has taken to clipping snippets of articles that provide helpful information and/or cause him to smile.

His filing system is way short of precise. Truth to tell, he tosses the clippings into a cigar box, and if he runs short on current ones, he turns the stack “downside up” for “rereading purposes.”

Sometimes he forgets he’s already read them; they often seem fresh to him…. ***** He wishes he had known Eleanor Conrad, who died recently in Dallas at age 99. She and her late husband led in breaking down racial barriers.

The couple led courageous lives, waxing philosophical across the years.

One of her suggestions rings particularly true today: “Never tattoo anything that will eventually sag.”…. ***** One clipping quoted Stephen Spielberg, a famous American film maker.

He often said, “When you tell your instincts to shut up, they will, and then they won’t talk to you anymore.”

His quote brings to mind a similar one that is coated in mold: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” Another clipping suggests that President George W. Bush “radiated enough self-confidence to melt down a Geiger counter.”…. ***** Some of the best writers to be found are featured in Texas Monthly, perhaps the best “state” magazine in the nation.

Readers “chow down” on the issue that features assessments of each legislative session’s heroes and villains.

Mort found the account of the 2023 legislature in a tattered Texas Monthly left hanging from the general store’s windshield-cleaning bucket. Maybe it was “hung out to dry.” Whatever, Mort loved one sentence particularly: “The archives remind us that though the Capitol has long been a playground for scoundrels, there are always faithful servants there, too.”…. ***** While some legislators were “quartered and drawn,” many received high praise, including Representative John Bryant of Dallas.

The magazine calls him a “folk hero.” Said one Austin insider: “He’s reintroduced the spirit of the Democrats in the seventies.”

Another claims: “John Bryant is a really good John Wesleyan Methodist who believes you do all you can, for as long as you can, for as many people as you can. And that is the only thing that is really motivating him.” … ***** Finally, Texas Monthly swung at Governor Greg Abbott, calling him “The Elephant (Not) in the Room.”

Claiming that he cut short a May 8 press conference to be interviewed by Fox & Friends, the article concluded with, “The House is a bore, the Senate a snore, but the bright lights of right-wing TV give him unconditional love.”

At least this is a chance to reference “ unconditional love.” These words aren’t linked that often anymore…. ***** Meanwhile, my friend Beverly Germany recently celebrated her 79th birthday. Family gathered for the party.

Beverly’s daughter Monica mentioned that next year, “Gigi will be 80.”

This elicited a comment from Luke, Beverly’s four-year-old great-grandson. It gives a glimmer of hope for folks worrying about student’s mastery of mathematics going south in a handbasket.

“And then, she’ll be only 20 years from 100,” chimed in Luke. Watch out, kindergarteners. When he enrolls this fall, he’s likely to ruin the curve for lesser minds…. *****

Dr. Newbury, longtime university president, writes weekly and continues to speak throughout Texas.