A Pledge Not Kept…

When I began writing weekly more than two decades ago, I informed readers that they could expect occasional recipes worthy of clipping, putting under magnets on refrigerator doors or placing toward the front of recipe boxes.

I have failed. Maybe it was because the recipe—offered more than 20 years ago—failed to generate any responses from readers. Further, maybe there’s nothing particularly appealing about ingredients like Graham crackers, peanut butter and marshmallows.

I might just as well have provided a recipe for Jell-O, even though age-old instructions are printed on the side of every box…. *****

Whatever, I’m entering the kitchen once more, if only to repeat a timely tip as well as to clarify why we “call pickles pickles.” After all, they all start out as cucumbers. (Uncle Mort explained last week that pickles would be “cuter” if seeds were turned inside out prior to planting. That way, they’d have dimples instead of warts.)

Okay, so you didn’t read last week’s column. If that’s the case, at least smile upon perusing this one.

My friend Ray brought me up short on the pickle story. “A few decades ago, I was in the Navy with a man who became a lifelong friend and was a career physician in Michigan,” he said…. *****

Ray said his friend bragged that his home state traditionally ranked number one in the production of pickles.

Perhaps wanting to enlighten his Yankee friend, Ray quizzed, “Don’t you really mean cucumbers?”

The Michigander seemed poised to answer quickly. “I guess we ‘cut to the chase,’ in effect. Cucumbers are marketed as pickles, a word easier to read, spell and pronounce. Think about it—you don’t hear diners placing orders in fast-food joints to ‘hold the cucumbers’.” Point made…. *****

A second thought this week may be helpful, even if a “retread” for some who know their way around the kitchen. It is a suggestion from Heloise, who has provided kitchen “hints” since Hector was a wee pup.

The “hint” may rank far below second-hand. It may be third—or even fourth—hand. I’d expected to be further along in the kitchen by this time, but alas, I often use a map, and still don’t quite get it when recipes call for ingredients “divided.”

Anyways, I am grateful to Heloise, even though we rarely have homemade pizza. She offers help for home pizza bakers whose slicing tools become dull. Me? I struggle to remember if we have a pizza slicer and/or which drawer it’s in… *****

That said, Heloise recently recommended using boiler plate, garden variety scissors. She said something about ease in slicing the pieces, particularly if tools designed to cut pizzas have gone bad.

Actually, I don’t really need this piece of advice. About a year ago, during a visit home to Brownwood, Dr. Jack Stanford presented me with a “can’t miss” homemade pizza slicer. It is sharp, a true heavy-duty tool. It is kept in plain sight in the kitchen, not so much because we often slice pizzas, but mostly to serve as a reminder that it was a gift handmade by Dr. Stanford, one of Howard Payne University’s alltime great teachers who died earlier this year…. *****

University presidents can usually “count on their thumbs” the number of times gifted by faculties. When I retired from the presidency in 1997, the faculty presented Brenda and me with a painting from the easel of the late Dr. Robert Smith, an accomplished artist and longtime theology professor.

Perhaps a decade after retirement, I chanced to see a longtime HPU professor during a visit home. I mentioned to her how much we appreciated the wonderful Smith painting.

“We’d have given you two paintings if you had retired a year earlier,” she said, smiling. Key word is “smiling.” Maybe “smirking” would be a better choice of words. Oh, well. Win some, lose some…. *****

A longtime university president, Dr. Newbury has written weekly columns since 2003. He is now in his 62nd year of speaking for various church, school and civic organizations. Contact: Phone: 817- 447- 3872. Email: newbury@speakerdoc.com.